Stopped at an Intersection

"One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go." -Sheila Murray Bethel

I truly am at a crossroads in my life. I have been disabled for a few years now.  I have one failed marriage under my belt, and another one heading that way. Money is always tight, and have no plan for retirement and financial security. Just like the intersection above, I am at a point now where I have to choose which way to go. And I am stopped at the stop sign so to speak. What I do know is who I am, and where I want to go. My beliefs are ever-changing, as I am working hard at breaking limiting beliefs, and replacing them with empowering beliefs.

I am a passionate person.  I love hard and fight harder.  I am a warrior.  Fighting through this mental illness has proven that.  I am a creative person. I am a resourceful person. I am a person that loves to write and produce things, whether it be writing or in the shop. I am also a very uncertain person. Uncertain of the road ahead, uncertain of the steps to take. And this is the intersection I am stopped at. The road that lead me to this point, and continuing on the same comfortable path, hoping something will change, or taking a new road. Sure, its scary. Sure, it will require a lot of determination and hard work. But this just may be the clarity and direction I need.

Where I want to go is simple to identify really. I want to get to a place where doing what I love, what I am passionate about, provides financial security. I want to be able to not have the stress and angst that comes with limited finances. I am not looking for wealth, although I certainly would't turn it down. I just want to know my bills are paid, and we aren't struggling financially.

I want to be at a place where the person I am building a life with needs and respects me, the vows that were made are honored, and we are working towards a life we don't need a vacation from.

I want to be at a place where I can say "these were my dreams, and I accomplished them."

I stepped out this week, in the midst of total uncertainty and a crumbling life, and submitted three pieces of my writing for publication.  I will know the results in about a month.  I have submitted pieces before, but the paid submission wasn't accepted, and the other pieces were unpaid. I signed up and have begun a course on affiliate marketing on the internet.  I have started the third course in my herbalism certification, and I have orders waiting for me in the shop.  and due to the current situation, I have had to come up with a plan forward in case my life as I know it changes drastically, which is a real possibility.  

I am scared.  I am hurting.  Everything that I thought was a certainty no longer is.  So while being at the intersection of my past and my future is scary and uncertain, there is a certain amount of liberation knowing things can't get much worse, and a total direction change is needed.  

So which direction do I head? Whatever direction will take me to that place. And in this intersection of my life, I have the right of way.

And I am going.